If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
Thanks to the internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Man is a slow, sloppy and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and stupid.
I don’t know what “Java” is, but I let it do whatever it wants to my computer. I feel like such a slut.
I’m not anti-social, I’m just not user-friendly.
Technology is a word that describes something that doesn’t work yet.
If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.
We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
The population of Earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
It’s supposed to be automatic, but actually you have to push this button.
What did people do when they went to the bathroom before smart phones?
We’re not like other design agencies.
All I have to do to empty shopping carts online is click a button. It’s way easier than the grocery store, where I have to knock them over.
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late.
The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people.
Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.
Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.
One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Any fool can use a computer. Many do.